


I Can't Keep This From You

by foreverinprinxietyhell



Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: Best Men, Bidder Loser, Confrontation, Double Date, Falling In Love, M/M, Making Up, Secret Marriage, Wedding Gifts, dinner date, dinner reservations, finding out, hanging out in the park, keeping secrets, s5ep5, taking pictures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-10 22:32:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11701215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverinprinxietyhell/pseuds/foreverinprinxietyhell





	I Can't Keep This From You

Gathering together into teams to go against each other for a challenge that consisted of keeping hands on some stranger’s car longer than their opponent. Without much convincing, Joe gravitated toward the youngest man in a voluntary way; they were in a committed relationship that the other two mostly knew about, so they did not argue when they paired up.

“Whatever happens out there, no hard feelings?” 

“Of course not, Joey.” Sal agreed with a long kiss before leaning into ask a question when the other nodded in answer.

“Bet they’re betting that whoever loses bottoms tonight.” Q whispered loudly to his counterpart, getting dual glares that only caused him to chuckle with a slight smirk.

“Should we be concerned with how interested you are in their sex life? Do you want to join them or somethin’?” 

“Shut it, ferret…”

“Boys, behave while we’re out there, alright?” Joseph asked in a warning tone before he escorted the other out into the parking lot to select an unsuspecting customer’s vehicle,   
“Perfect day to put your hand on a stranger’s car.”

“That’s not the only place you’ll be putting it.”

“Sally, you know I’m gonna win.”

“In your dreams!”

“Hands go on in three… Two… One. The game is on, whoever takes his hand off the car first loses.” Murray stated in their ear piece when the older man started to lower onto the ground in a suspicious manner that caused concern from the bystanders.

“Uh, guys, you know you can get arrested for doing that in public, right?’

“It’s not what it looks like, Q!”

“Sure it’s not… What’s he doin’?”

“I dropped it!” Joe gave a muffled yell from underneath the back door, his partner calling bullshit when he noticed a level of panic that usually wasn’t present since he was the most calm of them all, “Sorry babe…”

“It’s fine, not your fault.” 

“What’s goin’ on now?”

Before either of the jokers could answer a heavy set man came out of the store to ask what happened and if they needed any help; being quick on his feet, Joe lied and said that his sweater got caught underneath, but revealed that he dropped a wedding ring and that he was trying to fish it out.

“Your wedding ring’s under there?”

“I went to reach it, got halfway under, and realized it was probably a bad idea. Probably should have waited until you left.”

“So, we understand why he’s there, Sal, but what’s your excuse?” Murr asked as the man in questioned smiled nervously at the camera.

“You know what, you can go.” 

“I’m not going without you, we came here together. I spent three month’s salary on that thing.”

“You bought his wedding ring?”

“Yeah, I’m his husband,” Salvatore stated, his left hand ducking into an open pocket to emerge a minute later with a black band around his ring finger that he lifted up for the crew to see when he heard twin gasps from behind the scenes, “Can you get it, hon?”

“I’m trying! You know what might work, babe, could you pull both my legs?” 

“I don’t believe that’s the way to get you out though.” 

“Move out of the way, I got him.” the stranger insisted, holding both ankles to pull him out onto the asphalt.

“Thanks so much, sir, I was worried about him.”

“Sure thing, just keep a closer eye on him so it doesn’t happen again.”

“Oh, I plan on it.”

With a sad sigh, Joe slipped an identical piece of jewelry onto the corresponding finger before they walked over to where their best friends were with expressions that screamed betrayal in two different ways. Blushing deeply, stomachs knotted painfully tight as they waited for someone to comment on what had just transpired out of the challenge.

“How long?” Brian asked, looking directly into emerald green eyes since he knew the man would be easier to crack than the other one.

“A month and a half.”

“You kept this from us for that long? What the hell, guys?”

“Q, it’s not what you think. We wanted to tell you, but…” 

“But what? We’ve been friends for two decades and you didn’t bother to tell us ‘Hey, we’re getting married.’?” 

“We eloped, hon.” Joe mused, trying to calm the oldest person of their group as he began to tear up from how hurt he felt at finding out this long kept secret, watching helplessly as a few droplets snaked their way down his bearded cheek.

“Bri, it’s not that we didn’t want you there, we just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” 

“Sal… We love you guys no matter what. Why would you think that we would feel any differently about you because of this?”

“I-I don’t know… We know how cynical you are about marriage, so I guess we didn’t want to rub it in your face.”

“You don’t have to spare my feelings. I may not believe in love for myself anymore, but I love that you two make it work.” 

Touched by that, the couple each pulled him close for a reassuring hug as a runny nose was sniffled to hide an emotional breakdown that was starting to get under control as he got everything off his chest. Moving in when he walked away, Murr took the opportunity to get some friendly affection while it was being passed around.

“Are you upset too?”

“Kinda, I wanted to be Joe’s best man.”

“We could throw another one so you feel included?” Joseph suggested, looking to his beloved for approval since he did not want to make a decision without him being comfortable, “How about it?”

“Wouldn’t be the same, we were robbed of a part of your lives.” 

“Well, we want to make it up to you somehow…” Sal stated as he tried to come up with a compromise that would be fair enough for what they missed out on, “What if we go take pictures in the park? You two would be the first ones to see us as husbands.” 

“You haven’t even told your parents?”

“For similar reasons, yes.” 

“That sounds like a deal. Do you want to stop early today so we can go do that?”

“Sure, but we’ll need a while to get changed.”

“Take all the time you need.”

Agreeing to meet at a rendezvous point later in the day, the two returned to their shared home and shared a hot shower that gave an excuse to both as they groped each other under the spray of water. Moaning with every touch, they reluctantly parted until dried off and dressed into fresh pairs of underwear so the temptation was stifled, moving to their bedroom to look for similar clothes that had been worn on their special day. 

“Need help with the tie?” Joe asked as the other struggled with securing the complicated knot he tried to recreate, nimble fingers helping guide the forest green silk tie that brought out his husband’s eyes into a shape resembling a rose, “If I remember correctly, I had to do this on the morning of our special day too.”

“It’s a hard knot to get just right, but it’s so romantic.” 

“Of course you’d go with that one.”

“Excuse me for wanting to be snazzy for my man.” 

“How can I argue with that?” 

“That’s the problem, you can’t.”

Rolling baby blue eyes in fake annoyance, the older man pressed a pure, tender kiss to put up a truce before leaving again. As they arrived at the park, the two were greeted with both being dressed in matching white button ups, dress pants, black vests and bow ties, which made them appreciate the company they had kept all of these years. Escorting the younger man to where everyone was gathered, they were met with a few presents handed over to make the meetup even more special since they had not been there on the original day. 

“What have we here, fellas?” 

“We wanted to get you a few things.” Brian explained as a gift was passed to each respectively by the ones who would have been their best men, the two standing back to admire their handiwork at finding such items in a short amount of time.

“An engraved flask with our initials in a heart?” Sal asked, giving a hearty chuckle at how well it suited him.

“Well, since you used to own a bar I thought you’d appreciate it.”

“I do, thanks buddy.”

“For you, Joey, don’t eat these all in one place,” the balding male stated as he handed over a bouquet of donuts instead of flowers, a small square package also given to the groom, “We’ve got dinner reservations planned for after we finish here.”

“How’d ya know that I was running low on cologne?”

“Eh, I had a feeling. It is the scent you were wearing on the day you asked Sal out.”

“That’s such a weird thing to remember, but it’s so touching,” Joe remarked around a bite of chocolate when his significant other patted at a corner of his mouth to make sure it was clean for the photoshoot, “Anyway, shall we get on with it while there’s still daylight?”

Gathering together in a semi-circle, the four took a few group pictures before getting multiple shots of the married couple taking their first kiss in public, leaning foreheads together as eyes were stared into for the longest moment. Every ounce of love was poured into each pose as if they had just exchanged vows and the Vulcano name had officially been taken by the older man, their smiles just as genuine as the moment when it actually happened. As the sun began to set, they could not contain how content they were to share such a special moment that had not been planned while looking through the camera roll to determine which images best captured the overall mood that had transpired before posting them on various social media accounts to let family, friends, and fans alike know about the news.

Sun descending in the sky signaled the end of documenting their marriage when they decided on walking over to the restaurant a few blocks away from their current location. Unable to keep from touching, fingers laced together as the pair of arms swung back and forth while subtly watching as their friends started to move closer to each other as the older man mused to the balding one that he wouldn’t mind trying to sneak in a double date during dinner. 

“Looks like someone found love after claiming he never would.” Sal stated softly so they would not overhear the conversation lest it embarrass them to the point of deciding against the idea.

“It’s adorable, don’t you think?”

“You can say that again.”

“Huh?” Murr asked, too distracted by the man beside him to fully listen before letting out a slight yelp that made the other chuckle in defense, “Warn a guy next time you wanna palm his ass!”

“What would be the point then?” 

“Jeez fellas, already to second base?” Joe threw over his shoulder now that they did not seem to mind that their budding attraction was known, Q smirking softly as the other leaned into his touch.

“Sorry, we didn’t mean to make it about us.” 

“No need to apologize, love is in the air for everyone.” 

Drinks ordered for the whole table, small talk started to break the silent atmosphere until fresh food was brought out to distract from conversation for a few minutes when the balding man started to cough on a bite of meat as the man sitting beside him started to beam with pride.

“Bri, don’t make your suitor choke at the table.” Joe warned, his husband’s nose scrunching in disgust in a response to the spreading germs as he moved into the shelter of a protective arm to move away. 

“Sorry, guess I’m a bit rusty.”

“That’s an understatement… Don’t you have a sense of romance?”

“It doesn’t come naturally to me. What did Sal do that swept you off your feet?”

“Well, we took turns surprising each other with dates. The one thing that stands out to me is when he proposed, but it’d work for a first time couple too.” 

“Oh? What was his technique?” 

“We went to a bakery,” Joseph started, waiting for the others to finish chortling at how appropriate of a location it was for the self-proclaimed sweets lover, “I tried some samples, but didn’t want to ruin dinner, so he bought them for later. Unbeknownst to me, the sneaky bastard slipped the ring into the icing of the middle one, a lemon raspberry, and when he opened the take out box for me after our picnic he got on one knee. Here we are now.” 

“Of course you remember the flavor…” the youngest of the four giggled fondly, leaning up to share a quick peck before returning to his plate.

“That’s precious, man. I’m guessin’ you put the ring on after you licked all the frosting off?” 

“Nah, I wiped it off onto the blanket under us. I didn’t want to make it rust. Hope the idea helps you out.” 

“Oh, it does. Instead of cupcakes, I’ll just take ‘im to a soup kitchen.” 

“Jerk…” Murr murmured, nudging his elbow gently into the other’s unprotected ribcage to make sure he knew it was teasing in tone as he sipped at a spoonful of clam chowder to further the point made.

“If I may interrupt you two,” Salvatore spoke up after clearing his throat as he raised a glass of red wine a few inches above the table, “I propose a toast to our friendship. Call it corny, but this is the best time we’ve had since coming back home, so thank you guys for doing this.”

“Of course, man, we’re glad we could make it happen.” 

“We’ll be sure to return the favor if you two get into a serious relationship.”

“Watch it, Vulcano…” Brian warned, the man next to him rolling his eyes before getting up the courage to kiss his bearded cheek for a long minute, chin ducked in a mixture of delight and uncertainty. 

“Anyway… We love you guys, no matter what comes our way.”

Glasses clinking together in a chorus of chimes the four continued to enjoy their companions company even after leftover food had been packed into carry out containers, the celebration continuing on at the shared home for a few more hours. Keeping such a life changing secret from these two had been the wrong decision, but in doing so it brought them closer in an unconceivable way that they were grateful for once they created it as a family unit; the Vulcanos allowing the pair to spend the night in order to make the memories last longer than the pictures could ever permanently capture.


End file.
